The Dating Nerd is a shadowy figure whose whereabouts and identifying details remain unknown. What we do know is that he is really, really good at dating. I just got out of a year-long relationship.
Or so I thought. My girlfriend dumped me a few weeks ago and broke my heart. Then she texted me late one night that she was thinking about things and starting to think she had made the wrong move. I got the sense that she was probably drunk, so I ignored it. But the next morning she followed up and for the next few days kept texting me, begging me to meet up and talk things over.
I shouldn't be considering this, right? It's insane. But I can't stop thinking about it. Oh boy. Reader, I say this because nobody escapes the tremendous embarrassment of getting back together with someone who dumped you.
The indignity is enormous. Your mother will be concerned. Your co-workers, who watched you become progressively more unkempt as your awful relationship progressed, will look at you funny.
Even your dentist, if you tell your dentist, will pity you. Do you really want someone poking around in your mouth with a tiny steel hook, saying consoling things about your romantic life? You wrote the Dating Nerd.
Or, at least, you were in serious lust — the kind where every sober instinct in your body is instantly shattered by the very specific flutter of a very specific set of eyelashes. Do not take her back. Listen: I know that love is invaluable. We do all sorts of unwise things for love. We date people with drug addictions. We adopt shelter dogs who tried to eat their last owner. We do karaoke. The best-case scenario is that she really, truly changed her mind about you.
When you were together, she was heartened by what a good boyfriend you were, or just how handsome you are, you scope of mycology rogue, you — but she was also pulling out her presumably pretty and nice-smelling hair all the time because of all the ways you pissed her off.
She was embarrassed by your Instagram filter choices. But now she misses you. She realizes she took you for granted — that every person has profoundly annoying qualities, but that not everyone is as profoundly great a boyfriend as you were. Now, all day, every day, a little heart-shaped or dick-shaped thought bubble that you inhabit floats above her head. She really, truly wants you back. Sounds nice, right? This is terrible.
This is a bad sign.I met this girl in March when began waitressing at a local restaurant that I frequent a few times a week. As time past, we got more flirtatious and our conversations idle chit-chat got more personal. More specifically about her boyfriend at the time who she felt didn't treat her that well.
Four months went by and we grew more fond of each other. She finally decided to leave her boyfriend and we began to date. Things moved very quickly and we began spending a lot of time together. We did things like going to movies, playing miniature golf, trap shooting, go for walks, and what-not. We met each others parents and friends, my friends and family liked her and her friends and family liked me.
Two weeks into the relationship she began talking about marriage and children. Most guys would be scared by that, but I was all for it. I loved the idea and I loved that she was so open about it. I had never met anyone so affection, kind, intelligent, and attentive and we fell in-love very quickly. Things couldn't have been more perfect.
Last Monday I went with her doctor to get her pap. While she was there she decided to get a Depo-Provera shot birth control. I didn't know she was going to ask for it. On Wednesday, she began complaining of cramps which are normally associated with the shothowever I noticed a change in her mood and behavior. She didn't seem as affectionate. I just knew something was different. Thursday, she looked as though she had something on her mind, so I asked her if she had something on her mind that she needed to talk about Another thing I should mention before I continue is that her ex had been bugging her the entire month we were together.
Calling her names, but trying to get her back -her friends never liked him. Anyhow, I was pretty confused about what was going on with her, so I talked to her friends. Her best friend claims when she would talk to her about me, she just thought I was best guy in the world. We threw some theories around, like the Depo-Provera shot, and maybe we just rushed into the relationship too soon after she broke up with her ex. I have tried talking to my girlfriend, desperately trying to save the relationship, but now she isn't so receptive and completely disconnected from me and my feelings.
She just keeps saying "she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. I am so confused about what is going on with her. For an entire month things were so perfect and then without warning she changed her mind. More background on her ex My girlfriends best friend pointed out that, in her [my girlfriend] past relationships, she has always adapted to the guy she was with.
For example, in her previous relationship she hardly got to see her friends and family, because the guy didn't like it when she was away from him.We were together for 3 years and broke up 4 months ago. She got a new Boyfriend right away. Anyways I stopped talking to her all together 2 months.
So a week ago in the morning she texted me all of this-"Can I ask you a question? Did you ever cheat on me or was I ever not good enough for you? I'm sorry for all the hurtful things I said to you-I don't think you ever really understood how I felt for you. I still and always will love you. No one will ever ever compare to you. I miss you, you always cross my mind I shouldn't have said that but I did and this feeling will never go away and it sucks!
I have'nt heard from her since then should so it's been a week. Should I text her or let her contact me again? I just don't want to get pulled into some game just in case that's what it is. She also wanted to llet me know she got a new job and it's right by my house. She wanted me to know that she's close by now. Wonderwhy that is? Share Facebook. Why did my ex girlfriend text me this out of nowhere? Add Opinion. I think it means that she thought the grass was greener over there.
She thought she was going to get you but maybe in a better package He didn't respond to her qwerks the way you do, he didn't think the way she sneezed was cute like you do, he found the way she brushed her hair annoying when you used to brush it for her!
Just examples, hope you're getting the point I think the cheating question might be her ploy to get you back, "well someone told me you cheated on me so I blah blah blah I had a relationship in high school Met, married, my husband Even the last one Welp now he doesn't want to be single but I've moved on! And move on to a fun, new, exctiing, dating and getting to know people phase!
I called it. I said, "i swear I give it a month" and that was it after a little over month not even a month and a half it was over. I know that sounds weird but it happens. I wouldn't text her. I'd call her out She misses you and regrets her mistakes. She got into a relationship too quickly it's probably not working out and she thinks she might have a chance getting back with you.
Out of Nowhere my GF suddenly broke up with me... Says she suddenly lost feelings.
Or she wants to be your friend again. But I know she misses you, a lot. And she really wants you to respond. She texts you frequent because she wants to know what's happening with you. Wants to get involved with you again. It's your choice how you want thisSomething that gives you the comfort that everything will be just fine.
You see, men often think that attraction is forever, or that lack of attraction from a girl is permanent. How can a girl act so sweet and loving at one point, yet a few weeks later act so cold and indifferent towards you?
The answer has to do with the mechanism happening inside her head that makes her feel attracted and un-attracted to you. Whether you re-attract your ex girlfriend, or whether you lose her forever… it all comes down to one thing: The behaviors that you do. You see, there is something you did in the past to make her feel very attracted to you. But then… mistakes you did over time chipped away at that attraction she had for you… without you even realizing it.
What do you do? Most guys try to remain friends, not because they actually want to be friends, but because if they can linger in her life they could somehow sneak their way into attracting her again. I mean, do you really want to drown in her friend zone as she tells you all about the new guy she is seeing?
Should You Take Her Back If She Dumped You?
Terms of Service. FTC Disclosure.A breakup is one of the hardest things a person can go through. You lose one of the most important things in your life.
Studies show that this feeling is comparable to mourning. There are so many reasons why a break up could happen, but the most important thing to realize is that there is always a reason. The more effort you put into improving things, the more solid your future relationship will be! As I said, break ups always have a reason behind them.
It could be something huge, or a build up of a bunch of little things. So maybe she told you why, but take a moment to consider whether any of the following might play a part in why your girlfriend broke up with you. Understanding the breakup is the key to finding solutions to avoid similar problems in the future.
If you get back together with her, what do you think is going to happen if no solutions have been offered for the reasons why she left in the first place? This is one of the most common reasons why women leave their boyfriends.
The remedy is going to be practicing communication skills. The next step is to practice sharing it while remaining calm and reasonable. Communication problems are really common causes in the deterioration of a relationship. Brian, for instance, felt totally blindsided when his ex, Kate, broke up with him. It happens! BUT, we can fix it. Brian sure did. It was hard and it took time, but Brian really improved in how he spoke to people. He also worked on how well he listened to them.
Within a few months, he was back with his ex and I recently received an invitation to their wedding! Life is ironic, so use this time to your benefit!These forums are a place where you can ask other young people advice on dealing with tough times and share your advice on what has worked for you. Please remember that it does not replace professional advice. Join the online community Login to post. New to hear and personally I am not a sufferer of anxiety or depression but that is the reason I am here.
I'll explain the situation first, my girlfriend of nearly 2 years has broken off our relationship. She has suffered anxiety and depression for a fair period of time now, that said it only came as news to me over the last months when she told me as it had become very bad due to stress from university and life in general.
Over the past 8 months since then we still had a very happy relationship despite some bumps as all relationships do but over the last month her condition has drastically worsened. This partly due to my fault as I tried to understand her condition and help but I could not help in the way I or she needed.
This was worsened by myself stupidly telling a very close friend of ours that she did have a anxiety as I was looking for help and assistance to aid my girl friend and the close friend was also a sufferer. My girlfriend found out about this and due to the fact I was specifically told not to tell anyone and i lied first time around about telling the friend she has decided to end the relationship.
I apologised continuously for 3 days but was told she no longer could be with me and needed time to go figure herself out. I totally understand this decision and want nothing but happiness for her but I still have very strong feelings for her and would love a second chance. She has changed all her social media to single but all the photos of us still remain.
Is there anyway I can get her back and would you have any advice on how with a person with such a condition. How do you help a partner, I offered to go to her counselling and psychiatrist bookings with her but she did not want to pursue the relationship. I love this girl to bits and know if I got a second chance I would never make this mistake again.
There is more minor details to the scenario but I'll explain them a bit later after a reply is left. Let me start by saying it is absolutely beautiful that you are genuinely this concerned about her. Enough to want to support her with her anxiery and to even want her back. This shows you deeply love her and I'm sure no matter what she would appreciate that. Take it from someone who unfortunately hasn't had as supportive a boyfriend in these situations.
That is honestly all a sufferer needs from a loved one. Anxiety can really make a person feel scared and alone and make people say or do things they don't always mean. If she is saying that she needs time to figure herself out, please know it is not your fault and she very well may still love you. I absolutely recommend that you fight for her to show her how much you care if that is how you feel.
Don't be disheartened if she isn't comfortable or ready to talk just yet. Maybe just gentle things like cards or flowers might be appreciated until she is ready.David West calls in to clarify his position on a video of his I broke down THAT DAY
Ofcourse I don't know how she is going to react. All that matters is that you try : But I hope and pray for the best for you! I think the main issue I am finding here is that I don't know how much time and space. I offered when we had a chat about us to leave for two weeks and I will come back and we could have a discussion and reevaluate the relationship but she didn't seem interested in that. I may be struggling to by understanding if I can talk to her not but overall I don't want to jeopardise my chances of working it out and getting back together in the near future.
I know how u feel, it can be a devastating situation we find ourselves in when we try to help someone we love with anxiety and depression. Ill give u a quick rundown of my story and see if u can relate and hopefully I can offer some helpful advice.
Was with a girl for 12 months who had history of depression, anxiety issues and I feel she was deeply embarrassed about it even though she didn't admit it. This was only a few days after she had been saying she loved me and missed me.
I agree with Vanessa here if you truely love them u have to let them go as they need to fix themselves first.By Chris Seiter.
Have you just broken up with your ex-boyfriend? Has your ex ghosted your relationship? Are you clueless as to why your relationship has ended abruptly, without warning? I mean, really, why do men break up with their girlfriends without offering an explanation? Simply right out of the blue. As you probably will agree, anytime your boyfriend pulls a stunt like this, there is not just something wrong with the state of the relationship, but there is something wrong with him.
Breakups are hard enough to deal with. Take the quiz. No girl wants to be in the dark. Some men cannot seem to grasp how such a break is not just emotionally disabling to his girlfriend, but sets up a bitter conflict for the future. Not knowing why your boyfriend broke up with you out of nowhere is a big part of it. This question is the common refrain I hear from women whose boyfriend has left them high and dry with no warning or explanation.
These painful questions women ask come in all forms, but there is a common thread. They want to know:.
Out of nowhere my girlfriend of 3+ years broke up with me - what do I do now?
What causes a man or my boyfriend to abruptly end a relationship that otherwise seemed to be doing well? I am left holding the pieces in my hand. Why did my boyfriend leave me without explanation or even a note telling me why its over? Why do guys break up with you for no reason?
My boyfriend just left me without a word, dumping me without an explanation. He has no idea how humiliating this makes me feel. Clearly, when break up chaos unfolds in such a way, it is like your heart has been torn from your body. The rejection from your boyfriend leaving is difficult enough to deal with, but to have to spend countless days wondering what happened — what you may have done wrong — and why he could treat you so cruelly just leaves your emotions scattered to to the wind.
But before you do anything, like charging out of the house to confront him or text your boyfriend a dozen times, just take a step back, slow down, and seek ot understand what might cause him to do this. I know you feel this way right now and you ought to be mad at him for dumping you unexpectedly. When a man leaves his girlfriend without telling her why and just goes about his business like nothing is wrong, you may feel like shutting yourself in.
My advice is not to give in to those angry voices and passions rising up in you. Not even a heads up. Just pull back from all that break up chaos. Realize what your boyfriend did was a classless act and probably tells you more about who is and what he is about than you realized. But before passing final judgement on what this guy did to you, seek first to understand his motives and underlying behavior.
For the remainder of this article I am going to be explaining the main reasons why your ex may have ended the relationship without warning or explanation. The topics we will cover are as follows But before we dive in and talk about why your ex-boyfriend may not have given you an explanation for your breakup, I want to briefly talk about the three different ways your ex-boyfriend can break up without warning.